Ice Age Is Snow Joke - The Droitwich Standard

Ice Age Is Snow Joke

Droitwich Editorial 28th Feb, 2018 Updated: 28th Feb, 2018   0

Over the past few months, strange things have been happening at West Midland Safari Park.

An unusual mound that initially appeared a couple of years ago in an off-show area at the Park has recently grown bigger and bigger. Bizarre rumbling sounds emanating from the area have also been increasing, which staff initially mistook for sounds from The Land of the Living Dinosaurs.

The epicentre of the earthquake that shook the West Midlands two weeks ago is now believed to be at the Bewdley attraction, which has created further panic amongst Park bosses. Concerned for the safety of the animals, guests and staff, the Park have enlisted the help of a specialist geologist to investigate the disturbance.

Kash Knezovich, Development Director at the Park, said, “The Safari Park has lots of uneven ground and various hills throughout the site, yet ever since I have worked at the Park, the particular mound in question has always struck us as being ‘different’.




He continued, “What with the bizarre earthquake and strange sounds coming from the area, we took the decision to cordon it off and bring in a specialist to find out exactly what’s been going on. We’re quite excited to see what they find!”

Last week, Dr Matthew Nock, Chief Geologist from the University of Rockstone, was invited to the Park to carry out an investigation on this phenomena. He began by digging areas around the mound and running radiometric tests to determine what the rocks were made of and how long they had been there for. However, the force of the digging caused him to fall through what can only be assumed as a type of time portal and into a huge ice cave.


Unbelievably, Dr Nock managed to work his way through the ice cave, briefly glimpsing a frozen landscape and the silhouette of a gigantic creature. Unsure of what the creature was and whether he was safe, Dr Nock quickly fled and managed to find his way back to the present day and excitedly shared his experiences with Park management.

Dr Matthew Nock, Chief Geologist, said, “When I was called by the Park to carry out investigations on a strange embankment within their grounds, I didn’t really think much of it and thought it would be a quick job. Yet when I arrived, I realised that I was dealing with something much more intriguing than just a hill.”

He continued, “I couldn’t believe it when I fell through the rocks into what I can only describe as some sort of time portal into a freezing ice cave. I could hear the calls of some kind of animal that absolutely terrified me. I managed to catch a glimpse of an enormous creature – it must’ve been bigger than a house – and it had a coat of thick brown fur. I was too scared to continue, but I definitely heard more than one creature.”

The activation of the ice cave’s time portal is believed to have disturbed the atmosphere and created the recent cold snap of snow and freezing temperatures across the country.

After sharing his findings, Dr Nock is currently travelling back and forth through the portal into the ice cave to determine how old the rocks are and how they came into existence. He has been sending regular updates to the Park and he is due to enlist a team of geologists to support his investigation.

Park management have taken the decision to call in a team of expert Animal Keepers to travel through the portal and to find and observe the creatures within it. There will be further information within the next few weeks as to exactly what these creatures are and how this time portal managed to come into existence.

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