As a parent, you already understand that life comes with daily stresses and strains you need to navigate. Children and teens do not usually have such understanding or the tools or ability to deal with the challenges they encounter. While parents cannot remove all obstacles from their children’s lives, no matter how much they would like to, they can arm them with the skills they need to cope with different stresses and overcome adversity. Here’s how.
Spend Quality Time with Them
Children need nurturing, and their resilience comes from the types of relationships they have in their lives. It is these relationships and their strengths that help them through hard times. These supportive relationships can be with their teacher, family friend, healthcare practitioner or relative, but should ideally be between them and their parent or carer.
Crucially, the quality of the time parents spend with their children rather than the quantity matters more. Ten minutes of complete focus on the time and activity you are sharing will be worth more than an hour when your mind is on other things.
How you spend time with them also impacts their sense of self-worth; if you cannot pay attention to them, they may not feel important enough. Be present, listen to them, encourage them to discuss their lives and what is going on, talk about whatever they would like and make the time you spend with them feel special.
Encourage Healthy Risk-taking
Some experts theorise that parents are raising less resilient kids because they are not letting them take healthy risks. They make it very clear that parents should not put their kids in danger, but instead let them safely explore the world.
Healthy risk-taking, such as allowing your kids to learn how to ride a bicycle, builds autonomy, confidence, and resilience. It also teaches them not to give up on challenging tasks or new experiences because the result will be worth it.
Teach Them to Deal with Their Emotions
When they become upset or face situations they do not know how to deal with, children are typically unable to think straight or sort out what they want to do. This leads to them getting overwhelmed because the part of their brain responsible for problem-solving and critical thinking is being flooded with emotions.
Parents should devise ways to help their children deal with their emotions so they know what to do the next time they feel these emotions welling up inside. This is especially significant for foster children who may not be equipped with the tools they need to do so.
Crucially, listen to what they have to say without interrupting. Allowing them to vent their feelings like this will bring them to a state of balance where they can think through the problem or let go of their negative emotions.
Parents and foster carers can also help their children identify and name their emotions and what they need. Helping them with this helps them understand and deal with both instead of being led by them. Carers fostering in London can talk to their support group or social worker to help them with this exercise if they do not know how to go about it. They can also seek additional resources that help them better understand how to help their foster children deal with their emotions.
Children who know how to name and deal with their emotions often have better emotional and physical health, perform better in school, and have an easier time making and getting along with friends.
Encourage Quality Sleep
Sleep affects us in different ways, with the lack of quality sleep being a driver of stress. It also hurts decision-making, concentration, memory, and overall cognitive function. When children do not get enough sleep, numerous areas of their lives suffer, so parents should find ways to ensure their children get enough high-quality sleep.
One way to do this is to limit device use before bed. The blue light that electronic devices emit inhibits the production of melatonin, the hormone that tells our bodies it is time to go to bed. Also, these devices can cause us to be emotionally stimulated, making it much harder to fall asleep.
Teach Delayed Gratification
Children and teens should understand that they cannot always get what they want when they want it. It is an essential concept to get them to understand in an age where everything has been made as convenient as possible.
Psychological studies have shown that those who can delay gratification lead healthier, happier, and more productive lives. If you do not teach them this concept, they will miss out on a skill that would have been useful for the rest of their lives.
Board games are only one example of an activity that teaches delayed gratification. It also stimulates the prefrontal cortex responsible for emotional regulation, decision-making and building resilience.
Facilitate Winning Experiences
Even though parents should teach their children that some things might not work in their favour and teach them to deal with the experiences and emotions that follow, they should also provide opportunities for them to win. The sense of achievement from this experience will boost their self-esteem and make them more confident in their abilities.
Allow your children and teens to explore interests, talents and hobbies, and celebrate their progress and wins, big or small. You should also participate in different activities with them so they can see that you care about what they are doing and are interested in. Doing so also provides additional opportunities to spend time with them, thereby strengthening your relationship.
Encourage Healthy Peer Relationships
Everyone has gone through awkward interactions when they were younger. Even though they were unpleasant, they were essential for teaching how to navigate social situations and build relationships. Encouraging your children to do the same can create a sense of belonging in a community that can boost their resilience.
Teaching children how to be more resilient can help them in difficult situations in their lives. Importantly, it can teach them the value of not giving up and allow them to experience a sense of achievement once they conquer a challenge. It also boosts their self-esteem and confidence.
